Facebook Pay Per Stalk

It all started in the US with lucky Facebook users able to contact Mark Zuckerberg for $100. The bizarre pilot scheme has now crossed the Atlantic and allows UK users to contact anyone out of their network for the modest sum of 71p. That is unless you fulfill certain celebrity criteria (such as your “friends” exceed a certain number and others have paid to hassle you in the past) in which case the inflated price tag can be as high as £10.68.

Of course you could use it for something really dull and useful like connecting with a potential employer or customer, but why bother with that when you could be paying for the privilege of having one of your carefully crafted messages sat unopened in the bulging inbox of your favourite celebrity? Among those breaking the £10 mark are Snoop Dogg and Tom ‘tiny pants’ Daley, neither of whom will receive a penny for their troubles.

Facebook insist this is not a sleazy profit making scheme but rather a tariff imposed to reduce spam. Who cares. Surely the really important question on everyone’s lips will be which bright stars will have this coveted £10.68 badge of fame and which struggling comedians, aging footballers and Big Brother winners will be subject to the public humiliation and deep personal torment of being a plain old 71p’er….